Women are Communists, Men are Capitalists

Comedian Owen Benjamin hit this right on the head. Hilarious, and oh, so true:

Oh, so true

Owen Benjamin Describes Women

I had an experience last week that completely confirmed Mr. Benjamin’s theory of women.

The scene: A Women’s Business Conference

Overheard by my assistant (direct-ish quote): Oh, I don’t like that Kim Flynn lady. I shared a stage with her a few months ago, and she sold a bunch of retreats. Everyone bought her stuff so by the time I spoke they had already purchased. They didn’t buy anything from me. The only reason people bought from her anyway is because of her bonuses she was giving away.

Huh.

All of these years I have been blaming myself. I have stewed over this, read books about this, journaled about this: I figured I have been in the wrong–that my bold personality is going around hurting people’s feelings unintentionally, and although I didn’t mean to, I hurt people. Constantly.

That overheard conversation was such a GIFT to me! I have absolutely no other way I could have possibly hurt this woman–she simply didn’t like me because I was successful, and specifically, more successful than her.

So what am I feeling? First, RELIEF. Relief to know that the experiences of women turning on me in the past have been about their stuff and not about me. And secondly, and more importantly, SADNESS. How are we supposed to progress as a gender while we are holding each other back?

jealous

I don’t think this (or any social problem) exists in other people but not in myself. I can’t change my speaker friend, or anyone else. All I can do is watch for the trend in myself, and by my behavior and words, model women supporting other women! So here is what I am committed to in my own life:

#1  Recognize jealousy when I feel it.  Do I get jealous? Sure, all of the time. When I am having hard feelings for someone, be honest enough with myself to say–this is my junk and has nothing to do with someone else’s success.

#2  Have a conversation with that person in my car, out loud.  This actually works. I work through many-a-tough feelings in my car, simply by having conversations with them. The out loud part really helps. I tell them everything I am feeling, and imagine them telling their side of the story. Often I am able to see their side of the situation.

#3  Actively look for successful women to model.  When I meet someone that is seeing awesome success, especially women, I will look for ways to align myself with their trajectory. Study them to see what they are doing. Align with them instead of competing with them.

While I don’t believe that it is only women holding women back (men, ya’ll are members of that big thing called society as well), I do think we can do better as women. So here is your challenge to face this fear, head on. I am doing this challenge today and would love to hear your thoughts on taking it on!

YOUR CHALLENGE:

Reach out to a woman who you have previously been intimidated with, or a little bit jealous of, and tell them how impressed you are with their success. Who is with me?

xo, Kim

Learn How to Love Your Business Again

love your businessToday I’ll give you some tips to help you love your business again and pass through those inevitable times when you fall off the horse and you feel that you hate your business and you’re sick of it.

Look at this Video about How to Love Your Business Again When You Fall Off that Horse!

Principles to Love Your Business Again

Every business owner has this moment when he or she becomes sick of the business, probably saying something like “Ohh, I hate this business! I just want to take a break forever and maybe never revisit it again“.

First of all, I want to tell you that you’ll only love your business and it will no longer have these moments if you are successful in business. If you are flowing in success, it’s not a big challenge to go to work everyday and love your business. But when you’re struggling to just get off the ground, that is when your business becomes hard to handle and makes you doubt everything. Or maybe you’ve been in business for a while and you haven’t yet made consistent money. If that’s the case for you, my advice is to get some business education. This will help you get to that place when you don’t see business as a chore anymore, but as a joy, and you get to that small business love that makes all seem easy.

My second principle I have for you is to see the difference between motivation and discipline. I know everyone says that when you fell off the horse, you just need to get motivated to get back on track and love your business again. But what I’ll tell you is that I really don’t care how motivated you are. Motivation for me is really not important at all. What’s important is discipline and that you have that discipline to get back on the horse again, and again, and again. Because this is what you need to pass through the hard times and love your business again.

love your businessHow to develop discipline? Well, just like any other character trait, it’s a habit and you start just by doing it on a regular basis. What’s interesting about discipline is that it bleeds from all aspects of your life. For example if you develop the habit of regularly exercising, when you tell yourself that you’re going to run outside even if its raining, even if you don’t feel like it, you are actually building a strong level of discipline that will beed into all areas of your live. It is then when you’ll feel that you truly have the discipline to tell yourself to do something even if you don’t feel like doing it. And that is just a basic principle to learn how to love your business again. There is no shortcut and no trick do to it differently.

I hope my advice helps you in your business journey. I challenge you to pursue the level of success that you want to see in your business and develop the discipline that is necessary for you to get back on that horse again and love your business even more…and remember to play BIG in your business!